I heard this joke the other day: G.W. Bush takes a jog one day through a Washington DC neighborhood. On one particular street corner stands a prostitute - big hair, streaked makeup, torn nylons - the works.
"So how much?" asks the President.
"$120"
"hehe...I'll give you $5."
The woman turns him down and GW proceeds on his way. The next morning, the same routine. $5 still isn't enough for him to get some action.
Later on, Hillary Clinton decides to join Bush on the jog. As they pass the prostitute, George - whose nervous Hillary might find out he has spoken with the prostitute - ignores her and they jog by.
Suddenly, GW hears a commotion and the prostitute is running after him, shouting, "See what you get for $5!"
End Joke. A Polish person told me this joke. How far has the image of the United States of America fallen when the Polish are telling American jokes? Egads.
Vientiane has been fantastic. I met my aformentioned polish friend the other day and the guy is a riot, telling tons of stupid jokes that make absolutely no sense, even to me. And having been in town for a few days, he knew of the weirdest little communist local bars that of course, I had to go to. One of these bars was the darkest bar I have ever been in in my entire life. You couldn't see your hand in front of your face. Horrible music was being played, with locals dancing traditional style...that is to say old white person dancing, but with more hand motions like they were buffing a car. And the creme dela creme of the night was when a tall, 50ish Laotian came onto stage and burned through a rendition of the Tenessee Waltz. You have not lived - I repeat, you have not lived until you have seen a crowd of 40 something Laos doing the electric slide to a man singing the Tenessee Waltz. In Laos.
I'm really fortunate to have run into the Polish here in Vientiane, as today I was able to fufill a lifelong wish with his prodding:
Holy cow, I loved it. And I'm going to get me one. It was amazing everything I was able to see today, just a couple hours ride outside of town. Modern six lane freeways with cars swerving around a herd of cows, rice patties as far as the eye can see, and little kids chasing after me laughing as I rode on through their village.
There was also something called the Lao National Culture Park, which was a near-abandoned and overgrown park off the freeway. Inside was bizzare: rows of empty, dirty benches, an amphiteater with the jungle busy reclaiming it, and sadly, monkeys chained to a tree inside a tiny 4X4 cage. You could almost imagine what this place was like when it first opened: the birthday celebration of some Communist magistrate would fill the park with loyal party members, all looking at the animals and sculptures with their family by the Mekong. And now forgotten, even by the locals.
So the whole day riding was fantastic - as well as absolutely horrifying, the first half hour anyway, getting the whole brake-clutch-gas-balance thing down. But I did it and by the end of the day couldn't wait to get back on again. It won't be long, I promise you that.
"So how much?" asks the President.
"$120"
"hehe...I'll give you $5."
The woman turns him down and GW proceeds on his way. The next morning, the same routine. $5 still isn't enough for him to get some action.
Later on, Hillary Clinton decides to join Bush on the jog. As they pass the prostitute, George - whose nervous Hillary might find out he has spoken with the prostitute - ignores her and they jog by.
Suddenly, GW hears a commotion and the prostitute is running after him, shouting, "See what you get for $5!"
End Joke. A Polish person told me this joke. How far has the image of the United States of America fallen when the Polish are telling American jokes? Egads.
Vientiane has been fantastic. I met my aformentioned polish friend the other day and the guy is a riot, telling tons of stupid jokes that make absolutely no sense, even to me. And having been in town for a few days, he knew of the weirdest little communist local bars that of course, I had to go to. One of these bars was the darkest bar I have ever been in in my entire life. You couldn't see your hand in front of your face. Horrible music was being played, with locals dancing traditional style...that is to say old white person dancing, but with more hand motions like they were buffing a car. And the creme dela creme of the night was when a tall, 50ish Laotian came onto stage and burned through a rendition of the Tenessee Waltz. You have not lived - I repeat, you have not lived until you have seen a crowd of 40 something Laos doing the electric slide to a man singing the Tenessee Waltz. In Laos.
I'm really fortunate to have run into the Polish here in Vientiane, as today I was able to fufill a lifelong wish with his prodding:
Holy cow, I loved it. And I'm going to get me one. It was amazing everything I was able to see today, just a couple hours ride outside of town. Modern six lane freeways with cars swerving around a herd of cows, rice patties as far as the eye can see, and little kids chasing after me laughing as I rode on through their village. There was also something called the Lao National Culture Park, which was a near-abandoned and overgrown park off the freeway. Inside was bizzare: rows of empty, dirty benches, an amphiteater with the jungle busy reclaiming it, and sadly, monkeys chained to a tree inside a tiny 4X4 cage. You could almost imagine what this place was like when it first opened: the birthday celebration of some Communist magistrate would fill the park with loyal party members, all looking at the animals and sculptures with their family by the Mekong. And now forgotten, even by the locals.
So the whole day riding was fantastic - as well as absolutely horrifying, the first half hour anyway, getting the whole brake-clutch-gas-balance thing down. But I did it and by the end of the day couldn't wait to get back on again. It won't be long, I promise you that.
Sabbai Dee. Cool to see you made it to Laos - it is one of my favorite places. I'll offer up a recommedation to check out the north. Phôngsali is especially cool (there's even a basketball court). Cheers. Joe
Posted by: Joe | May 21, 2008 at 13:18
oh sure NOW you want a bike... not when you were here and i could steal it every now and again. i pffft in your general direction.
Posted by: | May 22, 2008 at 17:55
Your CHIPS costume is complete! =)
Posted by: John | May 23, 2008 at 11:55