thehostelwitness

Mr. Tong's, Udon Thani

There are a slew of night time options here in Udon, I mean, within the general category of "bars". Outside of bars, there's really nothing to do once the sun goes down. Lucky for me, its not really a problem as my nights are filled with homework and dinner, leaving me really only one night to have to fill in - Saturday. And so it was that on Saturday night, at the behest of my friends Pahm, Dtahn, and Maew (who run UdonMap.com), I headed to the Full Moon bar faaar south on Tahan Tanon Rd.

The Full Moon, named no doubt after Thailand's famous monthly party, was fully decked out Tiki-style, but with a live band singing covers and a table full of hostesses greeting me as I came in. I quickly maneuvered my way to the bar and talked the bar tender into keeping the TV on the Yankees-Cleveland game (even in Thailand, the $&#^%$ Yankees!). it wasn't long until I felt a tap on my shoulder and a barked out question: "Hey! Who are you?!"

Turning around, I was greeted by a forty-ish Thai woman who introduced herself as Owna.
"NO! Not Owna. I am the owna. Of the bar. My name is Niki."
Niki ended up being a complete riot and made me feel at home. A lifelong resident, she had opened up Full Moon about 20 years ago and ever since, its been the best bar in Udon Thani. As the band played on and the clock approached 11, I could see what she meant - even so far from the town center the place was filling up.
"Do you want to sit with a girl?"

Instead of yes, I asked her to tell me about the hostesses and what exactly was going on here. The girls, who unlike in Bangkok are not allowed to leave with customers (nudge nudge, wink wink, know what I mean?) are paid a monthly salary of 4,000 baht. Hardly enough to get by. The real money comes from tips. Having a girl sit with you are the table is going to cost about 90 baht per half-hour. With drinks bought (a percentage of the drinks bought for the girls goes into their pocket) and tips, on a good night a girl could pull in another 3000 baht. Since the bar doesn't open until 10ish and closes at 1, a hostess can bring in $90 - not bad for 3 hours of work. I could see why it was such a popular career choice.

I was plied with shots, Niki determined to get me drunk for some unsavory reason, but by midnight her sister decided that we were going off to see Mr. Tong. Mr. Tong is the proprietor of Mr. Tong's bar, which sits across from the mall and is doomed for closure within the next month. Actually, all of the little bars along that road are doomed for closure, as the mall has bought up the entire block with plans for expanding. When I first heard of this, I didn't really care as I had been past those bars before and they never looked that appealing - small, danky, and really nothing special looking. Mind you, I never stepped into one, so it was just a preconcieved notion and one that was doomed to crumble in just a few seconds.

As we walked up to Mr. Tong's, it was clear who the owna was - he was the guy with the open shirt, gold chains, and microphone in hand crooning out Thai karaoke songs. With Niki's introduction, I was soon in good company. I met Dtani, who owns a place called the Bossonova bar and before I could leave for the night, I had to promise him that I would pay his bar a visit. I had such a good time there and felt stupid for judging the place just by looks the last time I was in Udon. Well, lesson learned.

There are ex-pat owned bars in Udon, which I've been to, but none of them have made me feel as nearly as welcomed as I have at the local haunts. Thais are funny enough as it is - give one a bar and lookout! In just a few short hours, I was bought rounds, introduced to friends, and educated on how the various bars in Thailand earn money and operate. In contrast, my last conversation with an expat went like this:
"Ah, bloody hot today, ain't it?"
"Yep. Like yesterday."
"Got that right."
"..."
"..."

Niki ended up leaving at 1am, which is when the bars are supposed to close, but with Mr Tong's doomed to the wrecking ball he figured, what the hell and kept the lights on well past the time. Before she left, Niki offered me some parting advice: "If you need anything, Jacob - anything, you give me a call. If you get into trouble, just tell them to call Niki and I will straighten it out. I am going to be your step-mother in Udon, I promise you!"

Uh...great!

"Now, give me a kiss!"

Niki settled for a kiss on the cheek and a promise that I return to her bar soon. As I walked home I made a promise to myself that from now on, I would only frequent Thai-owned bars and restaurants...the food is ten times better and the company, well - priceless.

UM Residence, Udon Thani

I'm sitting right now in what I can safely consider "my" bed and home for the next two months. I've been back in Udon Thani for three days now and have been very busy getting acclimated with the place.

The past few days have found me apartment hunting - apartments in Udon are cheap, with month long rentals running anywhere from under 4000 baht for a month (about $120) for a studio outside the city center to well, the sky really is the limit. I settled on a small studio - and its NYC small - but located in the center of town, with nothing more than a five minute walk away from anything. Its really nothing more than a bed, shower, and TV - but everything is brand new. It also comes with free wifi and housecleaning, so I'm not complaining too much about the price (not that I can complain about $360). Even so, I've already met a few ex-pats whose eyes have fallen out upon hearing that I'm staying here. "Too expensive!", they say. Whatever, its just two months.

The next task on my list of things to do was to figure out the city's mass transportation system - an amalgamation of two bus lines, twenty-some truck lines, motos, and tuk-tuks. The trucks are pretty simple, but life saving: its a pickup truck with a set of covered benches. You wave them down, they pick you up, and off you go. After two days of getting the glitches down, I'm now pretty well versed at hailing a pick up truck - and I love it. Today, I jumped onto a truck to find myself greeted by 7 Thai nursing students. Best ride of my life. The trucks are cheap as well, with the 20 minute commute costing me about 15 baht. A rented scooter on the freeway, besides being a death sentence, would cost 200 baht per day and a tuk-tuk even more.

So what does living here really entail? Life at its simple best is my answer. I wake up at 8:30 in the morning to head out for breakfast and school. My school. I'm enrolled in a Thai language class, complete with tiny school desks. Class lasts until 11:30, after which I grab a quick lunch, and then onto a truck or bus to the orphanage. I spend the next four hours there, then head out when the girls are summoned to dinner. Back in town, I stop at the local pool for some laps and then dinner by 6:30. And then - well then its time for homework!

Believe it or not, I'm a little happy to be back in a pattern of sorts. The locals are recognizing me and giving me a friendly little nod and I get a ton of smiles on the street. The language class I'm taking is brilliant - its only me and three other men (all retirees) and my teacher, Chuan. I'm learning the basics, but a cool little bonus is I then take what she's just given me and kind of reverse engineer it for the girls just an hour later - so I get to teach off of a curriculum of sorts and practice at the same time. Its perfect.

Getting back to the orphanage has been wonderful, but overwhelming. The last time I was there, I was with 29 other people. This time, its just me. I was swarmed and there were so many faces that I didn't even recognize. And the girls I spent time with the last time around I could tell were a bit hurt that I wasn't able to hang out with them as much. I'm hoping they understand, but right now have my hands full trying to juggle everything. Things should settle down a bit there by next month, when school starts up again and the group smalls down a bit, but for now am a little sad that their feelings are hurt.

The thing I like most about the little life I'm living is that I've finally achieved living simply. I'm using my spare time constructively and don't even notice the time flying by. I'm sleeping more, connecting with strangers, and can enjoy myself without having to endlessly search through TV listings. Its something that I hope stays fresh for the next couple of months and can take home with me when the time comes.

Angkor Wat, Cambodia

Posted up a photoset, with comments, from today's trip out to Angkor Wat. AMAZING day and so hot. So damned hot.

Siem Reap Hostel, Siem Reap

Just got into Cambodia not too long ago - taking it very eaaaasy tonight and have yet to venture out into the city, other than for some contact fluid. Just a Visa run...here just until Sunday, hoping to see the temples of Angkor Wat before running back into Thailand.

You know you are in a completely different world - from Thailand even - when you get a motoride (taxi on a scooter) and pay $1 each way...and the guys here laugh at me saying I paid too much. Really? Fellow travellers, forget about not getting "ripped off", shut up and pay the $1. They know that you have money and its an insult bargaining them down by dimes. Seriously. It costs .75 cents for a beer. Don't drop a couple thousand to fly out here from your home country, $15 on airport food waiting for the connecting flight, and then get here to argue about a freaking dollar. Its embarrassing.

Commentary done. On the other hand, the motorcycle ride did give me an interesting injury to add to the list of ever growing ailments gained in Thailand. Whereas in Europe, most of my pains were in the forms of blisters, here its more physical in nature...

Rashes: A week of wading through standing, dirty Songkran water has done a number on my feet, which are now a nice cherry red color right up to my ankles. Not supposed to be that color. Or bumpy. Or itchy.

Bruises: A week of walking on slick surfaces have given me a bruise the size of an apple on my left knee (though upon hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to start doing baseball slides in standing water...) and my right knee is cut up pretty good from a fall I took walking out of a building. I was ok though and to the onlookers surprise, I got up on one-knee, spread my arms, and said, "TADA!!!"

Eyes: All the pharmacies were closed for Songkran, which because I didn't want to throw away my second to last set of contact lenses, I had to store in the most obvious place for 3 days...my eyes. Add in water and powder, and you have a nice little perma-red action going on.

Burns: Getting on the motos are pretty easy to do. But you have to watch the ones with the chrome exhausts. They leave a NICE burn on the back of your leg if you make contact. And the feeling is not at all pleasant.

Notice though, no back hurts this time around. One good thing about being so close to massage parlours!

Photos from Bangkok

Put up some photos from the last week or so in Bangkok. Enjoy!

Bangkok Photoset

Songkran Festival, Bangkok

Songkran is the Thai New Years celebration. Traditionally a week in length, each day of Songkran is meant to pay respects to Buddha, the elderly, and family. Buddha statues are bathed as a show of respect and love. The elderly are taken especially good care of, with small bits of water poured down the back of their neck, a cooling gesture on a hot April day. And then, using the same bowls of water, people start chucking them at each other and go absolutely ape-shit crazy.

Songkran is the reason I decided to extend my stay in Bangkok for a few more days. The agenda is pretty straightforward - you are going to get wet and you are going to get pasted. The Thais make a concoction of clay and water and wipe it over your cheek and neck. Its not slapped on you or thrown, but instead is a very peaceful kind of caress that surprises you for its gentleness (that is, right before they dump the icewater all over you).

During the day, kids hang out on street corners with their family shooting little squirt guns as you pass by. By the time the sun goes down, crowds have started to gather on corners and you are guaranteed to get a good soaking. By nighttime though, nighttime is when the roads are shut down as tens of thousands of people cram the road for an all night party.

Khao San Rd is traditionally the most popular area for the Sangkran events. The combination of location, a wealth of bars, and a good mix of foriegners is popular with the teens and locals here. Going on the last day, it was packed - it took about 3 minutes to move 20 feet and during that time you are getting plastered on all sides by water. I brought with me my swimming goggles and as funny as I looked, they worked! And its pretty safe to say with lady-boys dancing under firehoses, I wasn't the weirdest looking person there. There were even two folks who walked down the street in full scuba gear.

Khao San Rd:

 

So after Khao San, I was hoping for a little dryness and jumped on a tuk-tuk for the trip back to the hostel. Tuk-tuks effectively serve as moving targets and as these little suicide machines barrell down the road, water fights are raging between one motor scooter to the other. Patrols of pickup trucks packed with partiers are throwing buckets of water at you at every stop light, so by the time you reach home, you are almost wetter than when you left for it. Another hitch in the plan, was that the road leading to the hostel was closed - and absolutely packed. We are talking about an 8 lane road with no way to maneuver through. Going on foot, I jammed my way into the crowd. If you are claustrophobic, this was no place to be - where were the emergency services? What if there was an accident? And then I saw the reason why Silom was so popular - the firetrucks were spraying all the people down!

Silom Rd:

Which highlights the more sobering aspect of the festival (one of the few sober things about Songkran - baddaching!): last year alone, Bangkok had 361 road deaths, accidents caused by drunkenness or hydroplaning or a partier suddenly jumping in front of the car - all with no hope of emergency services arriving. I saw one ambulance all night, firetrucks actually participating in the party, and clusters of police men hiding in their little police trailers, not being paid enough to go and wander into the crowd.

Cleaning up and feeling much better for it, I headed out with a group to RCA, a string of night clubs on the far outskirts of the city. The plan was to find a nice little lounge to chill in, relax, and just watch all the happy people dance. And then we came to this:

So, needless to say we got soaked. One reveller found a particularly novel way to soak me - as I walked by her, she grabbed the back of my pants and poured the icewater right down, a Songkran wedgie, if you will. As the clubs shut down, we attempted to make our way through the guantlet again, when we spotted a memorable little shortcut. Behind the building, the barb wire above a small retaining wall had been cut. Behind the barb wire was a 4 foot plank that was bridging a 7 foot ditch to a old ladder that had laid flat the barb wire on the other side. The ladder was too short on its own, so underneath it was an old pallet, shoring it up vertically. Wet and oily retaining wall? Check. Rusty barb wire? Check. Certainty of injury or near death? Check.

Considering how potentially dangerous it was, it was still a better option than shoving through a street packed with drunken thais and buckets of icewater. Only one little hitch with the "shortcut"...as I stepped on the far end of the plank, it shot up like a springboard, catching the guy behind me right in the goods. Which in turn caused him to slip and fall back down on the plank, saw horse style. It was just like out of a cartoon, absoutely brilliant. He was fine.   

And that's Songkran - like getting hit in the nuts with a plank and liking it. Happy Thai New Year!

(note - the youtube videos were all taken by someone else. I'm not dumb enough to bring a camera out during Songkran!)

Taken for a ride in Bangkok pt 2

"muhahahahahaha! My friend! My friend! Where you go? I take you!!"

The laugh, a thick accented hyena drawl, was too much to resist. Four of us from the hostel were headed out to BED Supperclub in the Sukhumvit neighborhood when he pulled over. 100 baht for the four of us, with no meter. Its cheaper to take the train, but the laugh...something about this guy promised for an interesting ride. The four of us conferred for a moment and jumped in.

I would tell you the driver's name, except the young, fat, laughing Thai man looked nothing like the 50 year old thin driver who's picture graced the ID tag on the dash of the cab.
"Oh no, this is not my car. I just borrow!! HAHAHA!"

Say again? Not your car?

The car barrelled down the roadways, swerving into oncoming traffic while our driver, who would gesture wildly with no hands on the wheel while turned around to talk to us, laughed at our nervousness.

"You relax! I like you! I take you to Sukhumvit, you go Disco have a good time! Boom boom!! Where you come from? London? I LOOOOVE London!! And you? New York?? YO! YO! HAHAHAHA! I'm very happy right now!!"

Happy, in the Thai parlance, means drunk.

"I like Sukhumvit. Disco very nice! I go sometime for free boom boom. I meet girl, we boom boom, right in the back seat! HAHA!"

The back seat? Where we were seated? How long ago was this?
"Muhahahaha!!!!"

We finally made it, all of us laughing nervously about the driver and the ride over. Last summer, while in Germany I got into an Audi that hit 160mph on the German country roads. The driver, a rally racer, would drift around corners with wheels squeeling in protest. Getting out of the drunk cab from hell, I was only slightly less relieved to be done with it. And the driver was so off his rocker that he waved off the fare, thanking us for the entertainment! 

BED ended up being a great night out. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a big fan of the club scene. Long lines, expensive drinks, and a fashionable tendency to ignore everyone not in your circle of friends tends to be the rule. Here though, all three prejudices were quickly nixed right in the butt: we were rushed right into the front of the club. Everyone, young and old, were dancing. Bottle service that was actually affordable. And groups of people actually talking and laughing with each other. If every club were like this, there is a chance that I would never sleep.

Of course, with the clubs having to close at 1am in Bangkok, sleep is pretty much a given. Dissapointed, we started walking out of the club when we looked across the street and spied a familiar looking cab. No way...it can't be...and then came the laugh.

"MUHAHAHA! I find you!! MY friends!! Come come!! I show you good time!"

Um, fate calling? Sure, there's absolutely no reason to have gone back into that cab. It was a dumb thing to do. But I'm an idiot. 

After making exceptionally, spot on sure that the driver would take us to another disco "dancing, not massage", we were off. This time, the only traffic infraction being a 4 point U turn on a one way street into oncoming traffic.

Really though, it was quite safe. The streets by this time were backed up, so there was no way the cab could get over 25mph. And with the place letting out, this was the only cab that had pulled over for us. And if we hadn't have gone with the driver, we wouldn't have been taken to one of the coolest warehouse parties I have ever been to. Or ended up having breakfast with the locals at 5 in the morning at a sidewalk cafe in God knows where.

And the best part of it all is that since my Ipod died a few days ago, I picked up a neat little Creative MP3 player with audio recording capability. I present: The Happy Cab Driver Download Audio.wma

 

Some dude's severed head, Siriraj Hospital, Bangkok

Siriraj Hospital is Thailand's oldest teaching hospital. Home to the country's newest and most promising young doctors, Siriraj has been around since 1888. So, it plays an important role in Thailand's medical community.

It also has a forensics museum filled with cadavers, embalmed hands, crushed bones, and executed serial killers. Guess why I decided to visit here today.

So, if you are in a fix to see what a cross section of the brain looks like after a bullet has gone through it, this is your place. Got a scratch to see what a stomach looks like after being run over? Or a torso after it meets a grenade? Suicides more your thing? Veins cut, wires to hang from, appliances used to electrocute. Murders most foul? Bullets, knives, hammers, crushed skulls, lacerated necks, cut skin preserved under glass, and my most favorite, shirts from stabbing victims along with their murder weapons. One such weapon, and I kid you not, was a plastic dildo. Victim died from a single dildo stab to the chest.

More sobering were the newborn babies and fetuses on display. One particularly gruesome death was titled simply, "illegal abortion".

This put the Bodies exhibit to shame - and as if this macabre collection on its own wasn't enough, Siriraj played a major role in the 2004 Boxing day tsunami, which features in a new exhibit. Photos of victims, their personal belongings, and a video are enough to turn anyone's stomach around. There are even recreated panoramas, complete with bloated bodies and forensics personnel collecting DNA and determining cause of death.

Were something like this to open in the United States, there would undoubtedly be cries that this is the end of Western civilization, but strangely here in Thailand its devoid of fanfare. What kind of teaching hospital would destroy the very thing educating their own forensics students? No, all they are doing at Siriraj is making available to the public, something that back home is restricted soley to students of medicine. It was horrific and highly entertaining. And it makes shows like CSI look cheap in comparison. I mean, does CSI have the preserved 40 inch scrotum of someone suffering from elephantitis?

Maybe next season they will, but for now...only in Thailand! Now, what's for dinner?

Photos from Krabi and Udon Thani

I've posted pics from the orphanage - be warned, there are a lot of them - as well as pics from Krabi, Thailand. Its just so beautiful here and I wish I could be in both places at once.

Udon Thani Orphanage photos by me

Pics of the orphanage taken by others

Hat Railay, Krabi

Enjoy!

Korean BBQ in Ratchadamri, Bangkok

Holy craving, batman!

Fred Croson, one of the Eastlake folks that worked with me at the orphanage, put me in touch with his friend Gung, a lifetime Bangkokian and friend of his family. What better way to see the city than through the eyes of a local?

Not only is Gung a local, but she's also a huge travel buff, preferring to spend weekends abroad in Europe by herself than settling for a slow weekend at home watching TV. Her travel resume is impressive, even moreso when you consider that Thais traditionally prefer to spend their free time among family. We arranged to meet for dinner, with Gung picking me up. It only took us about 3 seconds to find each other and after that, we were like old pals.

"What do you feel like eating tonight? Can you do spicy food?"

"Gung, I'm half-Korean. I can take it."

Hearing the word "Korean", Gung's eyes lit up. "You want Korean bbq?"

DO I WANT KOREAN BARBEQUE?? Is the Pope Catholic???

So that's how I discovered the Ratchadamri neighborhood in Bangkok, home to the best street of restaurants in Bangkok. Italian, Vietnamese, Korean, Chinese - all are well represented in this popular row of international cuisine. Its been since last December when I last had any Korean food, so this was a long time coming. I must have gone through three dishes of Kimchee alone!

Afterwards back at the hostel, a couple of drunk English kids were pestering me into going out to Kho San road for a night of drinking. No way. No way in the world was I going to follow up this perfect night of eating with a trip down the kitchiest street in the world. It was sad, really. These guys had gone there every night to party...that's like having a friend come to Seattle for a week and only taking them to the J&M every night. I bid them good luck and let the Korean food coma run its course.

Bangkok is turning out to be a bit of an extended stay. With the Sangkran festival fast approaching, flights out of here are either fully booked up or doubled in price, with locals getting the heck out of dodge for their week long holiday. The orphanage administrative office is also closed, so it will be at least another week or so until I  return to Udon Thani. And on top of that, my visa is set to expire in a week and a half, so I think I'll hang here until that time, then take a few days out to Cambodia before returning. In the meantime, I've kind of settled a bit here, finding a swimming pool for morning exercise, a nice little coffee shop that serves American drip (its called Starbucks), and no longer rushing to see all the highlights.

One of which was the Queen's Snake Farm opposite Lumphini park. The second oldest snake farm in the world, I was treated to coming within a foot of a free roaming King Cobra (about 3.5 meters long) and a pair of smaller Cobras who were doing their best to take a chunk out of the snake handler standing in front of me. There was another very aggressive, but non poisonous snake, that actually bit into the snake handler's arm. It was pretty nasty to see, but he bore it with patience as God knows how many times he's been bitten. All I know is that the snake handler was fast enough to grab a King Cobra snake, in mid air, as it lunged towards him. Catching it just behind its head, he brought the beast within a foot of my camera lens and I swear I could see the hate radiating from snake eyes. So awesome.